Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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