hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
