operation harelip BJ is a go
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
