There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
