why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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