): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
