Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
