Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
