Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
