Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
