Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Alive.
So much puke
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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