hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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