you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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