This girl is more easily done than said...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
