The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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