So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
