I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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