so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
