shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
