There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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