New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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