We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
