I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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