once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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