This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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