note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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