You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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