i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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