I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
