is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
