4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Randomize
