: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
