We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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