went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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