its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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