Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
