Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
