im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
