wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
