So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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