they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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