you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
