you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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