Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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