Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
