does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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