I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
