she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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