i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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