I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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